ᴏᴡɴ ᴛʜᴇ ɴɪɢʜᴛ

ℓɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ғᴏᴜʀᴛʜ ᴏғ ᴊᴜʟʏ

[fashion] bohemaiden
Ryan Dunn, 'Jackass' star, dead at 34.

I woke up to a text from Blake about the news of Dunn's death. Since then, the only thing that's going through my mind is the word "no" over and over.

I fucking loved Dunn. He was my favorite out of the Jackass crew and seemed like a genuinely cool guy, besides.

Rest in peace, man; and deepest sympathies to the family and friends of the as yet unidentified passenger.

[uncharted] faceplant
Tonight I:

° drank my weight in saké
° had a shit-ton of quality Japanese food
° paid for one drink and one drink only at the Wormhole bar (thanks, Shawn, for picking up that $54 tab)
° saw three great sets and danced my heart out to each
° signed a tour bus
° made plans for a haunted pub crawl
° was driven home safely

Can't beat that. Seriously.

[disney] hipster ariel
Eleven days left in Savannah. I've already got eight packing boxes stuffed to the brim, and that's not including clothes, shoes, toiletries and other personal items.

I'm feeling about a hundred different emotions at once and I wish I could express them all. It's mostly doubt, anxiety, excitement, hope. There's no one that can say with total certainty that this is the best thing for me to do, but the fact that I'm going through with it should tell me as much. I need to get out of my house now or I'm afraid I never will.

But my mind keeps running through all the things I'm going to miss when I'm in Arizona. For instance, Yoshihei and Garet just found out they're expecting their first child (she's five weeks along); and Tommy and Gayle or Nick and Katherine are likely going to be married soon. Then there are the little things -- the unspoken traditions. Like, this final installment of Harry Potter will be the only one I won't see with the group. All those realizations strike me right in the heart.

It's slowly hitting me, all the "lasts" I'm experiencing. I had an appointment today and the only thought in my head was, "This is the last time I'll sit in this waiting room; the last time I'll see this doctor." I'm trying to soak everything in and commit it to memory so whenever I'm unbearably homesick I can close my eyes and see all my old haunts in my head as if I was really there.

[buckley] you gave me more to live for
Today marks 14 years (!) since singer-songwriter Jeff Buckley died in a tragic drowning accident. Words barely begin to describe the effect his music has had on me, but I’d like to share a blog excerpt I wrote to commemorate what would’ve been his 44th birthday this past November:

“Thank you, Jeff, for being born. For sharing your amazing voice and talents with the rest of us. For stoking something raw, powerful, angry, dark and beautiful in your fans across the globe. Even the shock and unfairness of losing you at the age of 30 is nothing compared to the happiness I feel when I remember I shared this earth with you for eleven years.

Rest in peace. Always.”


[gaga] pink
Last night, I was under the weather and decided to self-medicate with sketches of naked men.

The naked men in question, with naughty bits censoredCollapse )

I need to start filling my devART gallery. Give my scanner a thorough cleaning and then make GIMP my new bitch.

[misc.] studio space
If you died and became a ghost and could only haunt one place, which place would you choose, and why?

Grey Gardens before it was restored. I watched the documentary of the same name last night and was totally enchanted by the mother-daughter pair "Big" and "Little" Edie Beale, who were aunt and first cousin to Jackie Onassis; to say nothing of their beautiful if totally isolated and run-down manor in the Hamptons. One could spend countless hours exploring every room, looking over every bit of memorabilia left behind, lost or simply forgotten. Places like that appeal to me like nothing else.

[spongebob] to-do list
It's the beginning of the end, according to Harold Camping. How will you spend what could be your last day on Earth?

It's funny because I kind of addressed this earlier this month, although not explicitly.

Now, if I actually believed the world was ending today, if there was irrefutable proof, I'd probably do the following:

- Buy/prepare my favorite food and alcohol. Cigarettes, too, even though I quit over a year ago.
- Try and gather my friends and family in one cozy space and have our "last meal" together.
- Get fucked up.
- Get laid.
- Fess up to everything I've been holding back (come out to my dad; tell my friends exactly what I think about them, good or bad, etc.).
- Sit back and wait, preferably with my loved ones sitting around me.

Pretty routine for the apocalypse, yeah?

But since this is all bullshit that's been predicted via numerology -- bad numerology, at that -- I'm gonna veg out, maybe play Assassin's Creed II, wrap up the cross-over fic I've been working on and top off the evening with some slash RP. You jelly?

[uncharted] faceplant
Six out of ten entries on the first page of my friends list pertain to Supernatural.

/sobs quietly about the finale

[h&m] if you wanna sing out
My grandmother on my dad's side rang me up last night to ask if there was anyone riding with me during my impending move next month. Blake was my number one choice at the time since he is very savvy about cars and long distance travel, but his spot may have been uprooted after Grandma volunteered to come with me.

The truth is, I'm still pretty sore at Blake since he screwed me out of a trip to Anime Boston (which I'm also kind of thankful for because it saved me from going into debt -- among other things -- but still), and he has such a negative personality these days that it's hard to be around him without getting exasperated. While he is one of my closest friends, practically a brother to me, I know Grandma would be much better company.

This news came as such a relief to Mom. If anything is worth worrying about, even a tiny bit, she will lose her mind; and everything new I want to do or try seems to worry her. Sometimes I can tell she's silently begging me not to go, but I know she won't stop me. She agrees that this is an important step I need to take in life.

Tomorrow night is the two-hour Supernatural season finale, and all I can say is, It"s about time.Collapse )

Methinks it's time for a long nap. Or I can finally finish "The Picture of Dorian Gray" while trying to ignore Lord Henry Wotton's completely misogynistic diatribes. "All women secretly crave masters" my foot!

[buckley] i'm afraid to love you
The date is set for my departure from Savannah. June 22nd. If all goes well I'll reach Arizona by the 24th or twenty-fifth.

This is huge. I lived away from home a few years ago, but that was still within Georgia-- just a three-hour drive from my family. This is entirely different. From east to west coast, and I'm not leaving for school this time. It's for a new place to live and a new life with new friends and experiences; a whole new city to get used to.

As you can all probably tell I'm pretty damn terrified. I'm a creature that thrives on familiarity, so this move is a big deal. I just hope my jitters go away so I can be confident enough to drive. I've never endeavored on such a long trip by myself (Crowley excluded). I'll be driving and eating and checking into hotels all by my lonesome with all my worldly possessions in the car with me. I just hope that I, my cat and my things reach Scottsdale in one piece.

I've been doing a lot of little creative things to keep my mind occupied, like making icons and ficcing. I'm currently writing the first installment to a Supernatural and Silent Hill 4 crossover that's going really splendidly so far. It's been a very long time since I've seriously written fanfiction, but it's coming to me fairly easily and with great satisfaction. Chapter one will be posted before the month is out. I'm quite proud of it!


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